I fell through a cloud last night,
piffed then sluiced
through cumulocirrus fields—
puffs of smoke
strung gray and then white again
I looked to the night beyond,
the cuneiform I’d cut,
saw Castor and Pollux guard
wet nebulas strewn like poor
that wandered Olympus bare
Stars shift shape:
my Gemini folded back
to cloth, to my bedclothes’ jet
Polaris, the cad, stretched out
and up to make walls, then spun
a vortex to fan me dry
tucked tight as a diving suit
I fell through a cloud last night
9 thoughts on “Sleep Cycles”
This is great. I second (third?) Silverleaf’s comment about the stanza breaks making the dream/fall feel slow and disjointed.
Your adjectives describe what ohm like when I first wake up perfectly.
I just keep coming back to re-read this.
Glad you like it! I wanted it to be a little clunky. It was hard to determine what was clearly mimicking how I feel when I first wake up and what just sounded like poor grammar.
I love the dream-like quality you’ve created here. This is my perpetually-falling dream (you know the one… it’s the one you jolt awake from) — I agree entirely with SL about the sense of falling. The image of the vortex was perfect for that sense of loss of control. Wonderful, Nate.
I should share with you the picture Rowan gave me for inspiration. I think you’d identify with it. The vortex was my ceiling fan. But i’m glad you got more meaningful themes out of it!
Ooo yes please to the picture! I love using photographs as writing prompts. I’ve only done it a couple of times, but I so enjoyed the process of seeing beyond the image.
I like your linkages between stanzas; it gives me a sense of falling through the sky and through word-pictures…and the star stuff makes me smile too 🙂
Wonderful dream-like logic/confusion, and the star-stuff makes me smile.