Night/Song

I should have heard, dark cherry moon,
when voice met ear like mallet, gong
the raven’s caw ring through my tomb
You came to me more night than song

My first mistake, the tonic drunk
Two lips divide; you crooned                 belong
the word a cave I’d yet spelunked
You came to me more night than song

The amulet you gave that day
shone bright against the blinking throng
’til cricket fog hid you away
You came to me more night than song

Early draft. Constructive criticism welcome.

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2 Replies to “Night/Song”

  1. I think my favorite line was the one that ended “mallet, gong”. It felt unexpected-almost like a chant-and set me up so well for the rest of the poem. It was even fun to go back and read it in bits and pieces. Each line stood so well on its own too b

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