“Run!” someone shrieked, and I did—across greedy sand and down into the lake. Underwater, I watched my brother gesticulate upward as if he thought I was lost. We surfaced to a frenetic orb of winged stingers hovering inches above our noses.
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Northwest Journals 
Loved this! I had a similar reason to run yesterday. HATE sting-y wing-y things 🙂
Yikes! I hope you thwarted them, like I did!
Oh, I did!
I had my handy dandy, shoot-from-a-mile-away wasp killing spray!!
You say so much in such few words. What a frightening experience this would be.
It was a wonderful rush. . .once I got in the water and felt safe. Running from them was frightening. Thanks for reading and commenting, Karuna!
I hadn’t read the prompt so I didn’t realize it was a true story. I thought it was one of your great pieces of fiction!
I enjoyed reading it again before I wrote my response to your comment. Such powerful imagery.
Wow, what a collection of great words which add up to…”yikes” !! “Winged stingers” (shudder)
Ooooh greedy sand and frenetic orb. Love this, Nate! Also ‘someone shrieked’ < 3
Nice to see you, Kymm! Hope you had a good summer. Thanks for the praise!
“Greedy sand” is brilliant. It’s sort of gritty but also grabby. Love that. Wonderful phrasing, Nate. Now I have to ask how “mothballs” is a tag? Just curious. 😉
And how it sucks your feet into it when you run? So greedy. “Mothballs” is left over from my original idea, which I scrapped after my husband read it and called it “Monsters, Inc. fan fiction”. It was a monsters-in-the-closet idea with the twist that the monsters were humans and the narrator was a monster.
I love your description in this, and I was also struck by the creativity of “greedy sand.” What a terrible experience!
It’s actually one of my favorite childhood memories. Must have been the adrenaline!
Such great phrases in this piece, Nate! frenetic orb, my favorite.
OMG.. this was scary and I lived it as I read it! Great imagery with the ‘frenetic orb’ and “winged stingers’!!!
Thanks, Kathy!
I love “frenetic orb” but I hate getting stung. Ever. Great post!
I don’t think any of us got stung that day. I might be wrong. There were a lot of kids; some of whom I didn’t know because they were part of family at the campground we were at.
Sometimes running is the only option. I loved your use of words in this tale, especially ‘… a frenetic orb of winged stingers’
Especially when you happen to be the youngest of three brothers. Thanks for your thoughts and support, Mike.
scary!
Love the idea of ‘greedy sand’ trying to hold you back. Such a terrifying story well told.
Love your fusion of words!
Thanks, LHN!
That’s a heck of a good reason to run. I love how descriptive this is – the greedy sand, gesticulating brother, and the frenetic orb. Marvellous!
Thank you, Suzanne! I tried to add a flow to this like a camera tracking actors in a scene (that sounds pretentious, but I did try): running across, diving down, coming up, and rising above the water to the bees. Not sure how well it came across.
That’s all they are in this moment: winged stingers. Great action, great scene-painting. My husband tells a similar story–absolutely a good reason to run!
Exactly, that’s all they were in that moment. I feel the pounding of my heart just thinking about it. I don’t think I’ll ever run that fast again, either.
EEK! I hate bees!
But loved this take 🙂
haha! Sorry, Shailaja, for invoking the name of the enemy.
Nice job Nate. I want to know what you, or your brother did to disturb the hive. Maybe that’s the next 42?
Thank you, Thom. I believe one of my brothers’ friends used the classic “Poking It With a Stick” method.
Ahhh. A tried and true method.
Ooh, sounds like an all-too-clear memory from childhood. You paint a clear picture and turn the simple into something poetic.
It is a childhood memory. Despite how scary it sounds, it was actually a happy one. I felt safe in the water and my brother and I swam to the pier and didn’t think of the yellow jackets again.
My heart was racing just reading this!
Greedy sand. Yes yes yes!
I agree with Danielle. Your words are awesome. winged stingers: Yikes!
Looking up from the water, all I remember seeing were wings and stingers. The consonance was just a happy accident. Thanks for commenting, Susan!
Love the wording! “greedy sand”…”frenetic orb of winged stingers”
“Greedy sand” is a fantastic phrase!
Thanks, Danielle! That’s the part I struggled with most. It was this long description of how hard it is to run across sand and how it was slowing me down as I ran. I was surprised to find ‘greedy’ summed all the others up!