Comin’ Down On a Sunny Day

Screen door slam. “Ass-hat!” my Tom-Collinsed niece shouts. Her husband follows shaking his pork-belly head. A pile of fried chicken, potato salad, and two empty plates. I ask ol’ tomcat between chews what she meant as they back out of my driveway.

38 Replies to “Comin’ Down On a Sunny Day”

  1. Haahaaa! Brilliant, Nate. Snappy and snarky and irreverent in a way that makes me happy, especially the narrator’s coy obliviousness.

  2. Your language in this is perfect. I love this closing image of the person chewing, considering, not particularly concerned.

    1. Thanks, LHN. I’m really liking having 3 full days to work on these gargleblasters. It’s giving me time to play around that I wouldn’t have when we only have a day to write.

  3. “Pork-belly head” is a fabulous description. I like the voice in this – it’s very different from your usual genteel writing! I’m dying to know what he did or said to make them leave. 🙂

    1. Oh, Lisa, that word caused me a lot of trouble. It was pink-drinked, chardonnayed, energy-drinked, and Miller-Lighted, before it was Tom-Collinsed. I figured they were at the old coot’s house, so they drank what he drank and that’s where I settled.

    1. Thanks, Marissa. I wasn’t picturing white trash while writing it. Your comment surprised me a little. But, yeah, the niece and husband are that type. That might be why the narrator doesn’t treat them very kindly.

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