As soon as Ryan whispered it, I asked for the bathroom. Seventy push-ups later, I came out sweaty and red.

“Crohn’s,” I explained.

The racist host handed us our coats. Ryan’s other coworkers waved from the couch.

“Perfect. Just like we practiced.”

Published by


I am a writer for an e-Learning course vendor near Chicago.

47 thoughts on ““Avocado.””

    1. The trick is choosing the right code word. Something that isn’t used often, but wouldn’t be strange to bring up. No one uses avocado unless it’s the actual fruit. Dips are always called guacamole so it’s perfect!

    1. I have two friends with Crohn’s and they both like to blame everything on it: lost car keys, technology failures, broken coffee mugs. But to anyone reading who is offended, please know that wasn’t my intent.

  1. So I have to know… Is this fiction or did you really use avocado? If the latter, how the heck did you come up with avocado? What if the party had avocado dip and every time your plus one wanted more dip it resulted in push ups in the bathroom??

    1. Unfortunately most of the time my “time to go” is about 10 minutes after arriving. Oh well. Thanks for commenting, Kir! Have you gotten a comment bob yet? I think you should. You always have the nicest things to say and you always comment.

    1. On my first version of this I went on and on about the terrible conversations I had to endure. But the 42-word limit is brilliant at setting my priorities. Thanks for the comment, glasgow!

  2. Haha….I love this…as an introvert I have always had ‘signs’ to signal an immediate exit…but this Avocado/push-ups/crohn’s combination is brilliant!! And, so very believable 😉

    1. We don’t actually have a code word – a conversation beforehand on what time we want to go usually does the trick. Helps us introverts when we know we only have to be social for so many minutes. thanks for your comment c.c.

Tell me about it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s